Feature Articles

“What? You couldn’t have sex after all these years? Are you impotent?”
“Why is it so natural to some couples but so hard to us?”
“How can I talk about something so intimate and private?

Most couples find it difficult to talk about their sex life to others. It may be especially difficult to those who just begin to have sex as they may easily get into self-blame and feel too depressed to seek help.

To help these helpless couples overcome their sexual difficulties, we launched the service on sex therapy years ago to provide medical treatments, counseling and coaching. My role is mainly to offer sex coaching to couples through tailor-made information provision to guide them with knowledge and skills, and provide referral when necessary.

I have handled a lot of cases about non-consummation among newly-wed couples. Most of the time, this is caused by a lack of knowledge or in fear of sex. Once the fear is overcome, and with some proper guidance, this problem can be solved. Yet, this is not helping for some couples to keep it to themselves or simply ignore it. Some couples start losing interest in sex and some may even avoid any attempt of intimate contact. If not for the hope of having children or for the fear of losing their partner, most of them would never seek help.

Some may think as long as they love each other, whether they are having sex or not is not that big a deal. This is simply wrong. No doubt love is the base of a happy marriage. However, one should never overlook or suppress their sexual needs. In fact, a harmonious sex life can help maintain marital relationship in an intimate and uplifting way.

Our sex drive is not only inborn, but also in concord with our physical, psychological and environmental conditions. Our mood for sex will also be affected by other factors such as sickness or the relationship with our partner. At the beginning, it is necessary for couples to be a little more patient and explorative and of course be equipped with accurate sex knowledge and skills.

Bear in mind that in the course of gaining sexual satisfaction, bonding intimacy is far more important than the moment of sexual intercourse. Thus, don’t ever let your sex life ruin your relationship with each other. If feeling frustrated in your sex life, talk to your partner and seek help from professionals!

Sex Coaching
1.5 hours per session
Enquiries: 2919-7734 / www.famplan.org.hk/sexedu